Hello,
Alright, it's time for me to be real with you and myself.
I want to share with you that I'm chronically lonely, now and have always been throughout my entire life. It's worse at some times more than others, weekends, vacations, national holidays and so on ..... excruciatingly, painfully, heartbreakingly awful. I also feel that way in the company of others, yes, even when I was married and particularly with my family, except with my grown son ..... so..... that's it.
Loneliness or lonely people are unfortunately so stigmatized. Mention the word and see people beat a hasty retreat to the nearest exit. It's almost as feared or reviled as much as mental illness, not that loneliness is a form of mental illness. It's as though loneliness is a disease that others can catch.
And, I do have my coping mechanisms.
Over the years, I've honed my acting skills to a fine art and can lie with the best of them about how I spent my free time. I have a career, professional associates, family, acquaintances and a few friends. Therapy has helped, my emotional healing journey continues and the learning never ends.
There is no cure, I don't need to be fixed. I know what loneliness means, literally, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually etc, etc. I just thought I'd share this with you since one of my objectives here is to be as honest as possible. I also want to stretch myself and try on new ways of being and communicating.
People have made many suggestions over the years as people do, lately the blog writing idea has resurfaced again, which I'd previously rejected. Well, I've now jumped into the blogging pool as you can see. My biggest concern is being misunderstood and being rejected for my thoughts, ideas and feelings.
I found the author of Lonely: Learning to live with solitude, Emily White and her Loneliness Blog and had a real sad-on, even though she has a lovely, light and profoundly moving writing style.
Just having shared these thoughts has helped.
Thank you.
Chime
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