Tomorrow is another day ...

I had thought of venting and moaning about woe is me and how crummy my life is and on in that vein until I thought, well tomorrow is another day and life will get better.  And if that isn't the case, then there's always the day after that.

After all, I have a roof over my head and all my creature comforts are met.  I know, I know, there's more to life than that.  Well, perhaps for some people.  Anyway, I'll end now before I get really maudlin and into a grand old funk and can't stop.

A wise teacher of mine often speaks of cultivating an attitude of gratitude. Being thankful gives you perspective on your situation and brings you to the present moment.


Thank you.

Chime

Don't Touch My Hair!

DON'T TOUCH!

~ Chime  March 2, 2002

To create those extensions, how long did it take

All the hair on my head is mine, it’s not fake

But, without further ado

Fingers foreign rifle through

My crowning glory, my tresses, my locks

Respect is quite lacking, could a person be ruder

Best remove those five digits I warn the intruder

Or, I might do the same thing to you

Then you’d know the feeling

And it’s not very appealing

A lab specimen, I’m not, so adieu

But for some reason, it’s open season

Around my hair and the do’s that I sport

Whether Chinese bumps, twists, or styled rather short

Wavy, spirals, curly, afro, cornrows

Nothing’s off limits for the terminally curious

Examinations are par for the course

These ‘walk-by’ hair fondlings are not new to me

As a child back in England, it’s an old story

That the pat on the head of a ‘darky’ kid

Would bestow lots of luck on a person

News flash - I’m neither good luck charm nor pet

Simply a human being deserving of respect

That was the past, it’s a new millenium

People have learned so much since then

If permission to stroke has not been granted

My advice to you is simple and such

Treat others as you’d have them treat you

My hair’s off limits to you and don’t touch 

I wrote this poem nine years ago and it's still applicable unfortunately as it happened again yesterday!  Yikes, when will it end? The offender made a sneaky swipe of one of my sacred tresses just after shaking my hand.  Whoooooaaah. Don't f------g touch my hair!

Interestingly enough, ReVision Quest, a CBC radio show mixing storytelling, current affairs interviews and comedy to explore issues affecting Native peoples today, recently ran an episode on the importance of hair to Native Peoples. Although I'm non-Native, my hair is important and sacred to me.

I hope you understand.

Thank you.

Chime

First Impressions

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

~ Chime  August 7, 2011

Creator of powerfully vivid first impressions,

Unparalleled resume, mesmerizing personality

an instant, ready-made friend for the taking.

Imagine it, fantasize, visualize and materialize.

Promise of fascinating tales to be told,

secrets to share, experiences enjoyed.

It’s maddening then and even heartbreaking,

I can reel them in, but they think I’m faking.

I’ve written the cheques but they can’t be cashed.

They’ve lifted my mask, their hopes are dashed.

When they look for me, I’m not what they’d wanted.

Even I can’t find me, searched in vain and realize  

I don’t seem to exist.  All I can find is a cipher you see,

What in the hell is wrong with me?

How is it that many relationships failed

after all those promising beginnings

Personality tests, therapists gave their opinions

no real answers, simply something and nothing.

People pleaser, low self-esteem, abandonment fears

My lesson:  Love, be yourself, real and authentic,

your mental equivalent will magnetize and appear

to eventually enrich your life.  So be clear

about who you really are!

I consider myself a work in progress, a spirit being having a human experience.  I'll get there...

Thank you.

Chime

Making Peace

MAKING PEACE

 ~ Chime August 6, 2011

Recently peace and tranquility manifested                                      

Serenity, harmony, strife’s been abated.                   

Soft guitar sounds gently strumming in back,

Provides inspiration and breaks my block

Ceiling fan blades twirl giddily on ….

Wait; there goes a pan pipe, Zamfir has gone.                                

Raindrops swish and drip outside                                     

Drops spray and flatten the door open wide.                                       

Decide to start over, reinvent myself

Remake the whole works from heart to toe

Heart Wisdom exercise done, let’s check

Still holding resentment toward … Oh Heck,

I filled two whole journal pages with names

How I raged, had red mist in the brain

Emptier now though, and somewhat deflated

Forgiven them now, oh, ain’t I so sainted!

And tomorrow ….?

Seriously though, Russell Feingold has some wisdom to impart about emotional healing and how to get out of your head and into your heart in his book, Heart Wisdom. As he says: Free your mind and awaken to the wisdom of your heart.

Thank you.

Chime

Awakening

AWAKENING  
  © Chime March 17, 2002

Unconscious and unaware I’ve been for so long

Head and heart buried in the sands of denial

Afraid to feel, connect to myself, was I wrong

Going through the motions of life

Defenses and masks sprouted like weeds

All in the name of protecting my need

To hide from the world of heartache and pain

At least, that’s what has kept myself sane

But who can relate to a robotic android

One who’s shallow, full of cliched responses

Only a similar creature, with corresponding features

Lacking depth, feelings, opinions, zombified

I’ve become rather daring and have begun sharing

Feelings, opinions and emotions with some

Exhilarating sensations are sending me reeling

Now alive with a novel sense of fun!

              ~                ~

Hello,

I thought I'd change things up a little, here's one of my poems from nine years ago. I plan to tweak my presentation in how I show up in my world over the next little while.  By gum, something's got to happen, life can't get much worse .... I'll let you know how I get on.


Goodnight


Chime

  

The Other 'L' Word

Hello,

Alright, it's time for me to be real with you and myself.

I want to share with you that I'm chronically lonely, now and have always been throughout my entire life. It's worse at some times more than others, weekends, vacations, national holidays and so on ..... excruciatingly, painfully, heartbreakingly awful.  I also feel that way in the company of others, yes, even when I was married and particularly with my family, except with my grown son ..... so..... that's it. 

Loneliness or lonely people are unfortunately so stigmatized.  Mention the word and see people beat a hasty retreat to the nearest exit.  It's almost as feared or reviled as much as mental illness, not that loneliness is a form of mental illness. It's as though loneliness is a disease that others can catch. 

And, I do have my coping mechanisms.

Over the years, I've honed my acting skills to a fine art and can lie with the best of them about how I spent my free time. I have a career, professional associates, family, acquaintances and a few friends. Therapy has helped, my emotional healing journey continues and the learning never ends.

There is no cure, I don't need to be fixed. I know what loneliness means, literally, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually etc, etc. I just thought I'd share this with you since one of my objectives here is to be as honest as possible. I also want to stretch myself and try on new ways of being and communicating.

People have made many suggestions over the years as people do, lately the blog writing idea has resurfaced again, which I'd previously rejected.  Well, I've now jumped into the blogging pool as you can see. My biggest concern is being misunderstood and being rejected for my thoughts, ideas and feelings. 

I found the author of  Lonely: Learning to live with solitude, Emily White and her Loneliness Blog and had a real sad-on, even though she has a lovely, light and profoundly moving writing style.

Just having shared these thoughts has helped.

Thank you.

Chime

Be Gentle, I'm a Newbie!

Hello,

Welcome to Mindful Musings, I'm Chime and I'm new here. I'll try to post as frequently as I can find interesting things to share and ponder.

Actually, a wise and kind mentor suggested that I might use blogging as an adjunct to journalling to share and perhaps test out theories and ideas that I might otherwise not do.

Another friend has been blogging for a few years and discovered a supportive online community who provide her with wonderful emotional and moral support. I didn't know that this was possible and thought I'd give it a try too.   So.... here I go.....

I just read Iyanla Vanzant's book, Peace from broken pieces: How to get through what you're going through.


I really resonated with many of her heartfelt and gritty stories and found it interesting and useful how she wove many psychological theories into her recollections. She holds nothing back and yet I learned so much from her memoir and her painful emotional healing journey.

I am also dealing with many of those same issues she refers to.

Goodbye for now.


Chime